This is a tribute to a day celebrating the heathy integrated or blended masculine and feminine, also known as “Father’s Day.” Some decades ago, when I was in a faith community setting, the clergy asked all the biological fathers (or mothers on Mother’s Day) to stand up on “their” day. Then somewhere along the line, I realized that this left out the people who had done so much healthy mothering or fathering in a pseudo or spiritual and/or emotional way. Don’t get me wrong, I have great respect for biological fathers and mothers in general, especially my own, but I also know how difficult it is to be a parent. In fact, you can physically be there but not really be fully present in the role significantly. Even if we have major issues with one or both of our parents, we are better off if we work through that pain and move into a healthy acceptance and forgiveness, even if for our own sake and not theirs. I also realize that there are exceptions to this due to grave circumstances that make it nearly impossible to forgive. I have no idea what this is like, so I reserve judgement about everyone’s process. I have made many mistakes as a father and son, so I give great grace and mercy to those who have stepped up but also for those who have struggled on that journey. I have also seen numerous stepparents, foster parents, and adoptive parents, aunts and uncles, grandparents and teachers and neighbors and other caring individuals stand in for those who had parents who struggled to do so. In knowing my own flawed role as a parent, I also have immense mercy and grace for those fathers and mothers who, for some reason or another, were not willing and/or able to come through with the expectations of what it means to be a parent in our society. I’m not making excuses for anyone, but in the decades, I have worked with families and been in a family, I also know that many stories involve generational poverty, addiction, mental health, and trauma as well as death and divorce, distance, conflict, or other painful barriers that made it challenging to show up as parent. I cannot believe anyone would, deep down, not really want to be the best parent they could be, but things, or we, get in the way. So, I propose that we celebrate the perfect balance and integration of the masculine and feminine on both “Mother’s and Father’s Day, even if we don’t rename the holidays. Some parents fulfilled a dual role on their own when it came to the “fathering” and “mothering”, the masculine and the feminine, and no one to date, as far as I know, has done it with perfection. In closing, I celebrate the tension between getting it not so right on the way to getting it more right, even if it’s better late than never. And I also lift up those who have grave regrets and shame or guilt about the way they struggled to move into that role, even though they desperately desired to do so. I also pray for those children and adults who have had challenges with a parent or their parents and hope they find peace and people who can mentor and guide them like a parent. I have been taught, by my mother and father, and also by own my sons, and the many people who have emotionally and spiritually parented me, that a truly integrated masculine and feminine is the best aim to strive for. That way we all know how to embody the strength and courage to lead as well as have the emotional and spiritual vulnerability and compassion to nurture, the truly divine third way to show up in the world in this role we call the parent.